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This paper was used to fulfill an independent study course requirement during my graduate work at the Institute of Transpersonal Psychology. I have left it pretty much unedited from my first handwritten journal version. 1994 International
Transpersonal Association Annual Conference
Angie Arrien describes the way of the teacher as being open to outcome,
without being attached to the outcome.
I tried very hard to bring this philosophy and understanding with
me to Ireland. Even in the
planning and preparation phases at home, I tried to keep that statement
in mind (and heart), hoping to leave my head out of this trip. This is the afternoon after the close of the conference. At this moment, I should have been on the plane to Atlanta for an hour already, after a three-hour bus ride followed by two hours of waiting. I couldn't do it. Numerous reasons prompted Patty and I to throw caution and budget to the wind, and stay a few days more. This
ancient, mythic land of Ireland is totally beautiful, and the people have
been truly wonderful. My
first real experience with an overseas culture has left me exhausted and
craving more. I'm hoping
this 120-year-old manor house I'm sitting in will draw out these experiences
and help me put them onto paper.
I would like to create this story while here and involved, rather
than at home and detached from it. A
question I was too embarrassed to ask was answered for me yesterday, when
toward the end of the conference, as the children prepared to present
their dreams to the adults, the clouds lifted and revealed the blue sky
over Ireland. It has only
rained a few times this week, but has always been cloudy. Blue skies, I understand, are a treat. I
arrived on Sunday afternoon, after about 24 hours of typical travel, rushing
to get to the beginning of the Youth Conference, the first of its kind
held within ITA. Checking
into our manor house, we were handed a message instructing us to hurry,
we were needed already. We
stumbled to the conference center, searching for Cathy Coleman and Jyoti,
and the start of the Youth Conference. Angie's
statement helped me through the long travel, and that wisdom of unattachment
to outcome became necessary from the first moment.
Our wishes for separate rooms for each age level had fallen through,
and we had been given one room in which to work approximately 40-50 children,
ranging from babies to 16-years-old. The term 'spontaneous' was coming up more frequently, and the children began to arrive as we asked ourselves "what do we do now?" As background, Cathy Coleman was responsible for the logistical part of organizing the youth conference within the adult one. This must have required great perseverance and tenacity on her part, for we arrived to a formal schedule of events and guest lecturers for the children including Angie Arrien and Rupert Sheldrake. As all schedules are prone to, particularly with children and rainy weather attached, this one changed so fast we had meetings morning, noon and night to keep it altogether. I expect this was very hard for Cathy, for a large part of what works with children is structure, and we initially had very little. She is to be applauded for the great role she played, a lot of which I'm certain I don't know or appreciate. My initial fear of not
having enough time involved to satisfy a three credit graduate course
quickly went away. Patty
and I had spent days and days preparing for our parts, collecting the
components for the large drum and rattle making.
We literally had to put the drum together at home and take it apart
again, to see how it could involve children and only an hour of construction
time. Designing a rattle
to be made by 15 children, aged to 2-5, was difficult as most of them
can't even tied a knot yet, but Patty's design worked well.
The crate for the hauling the drum parts all the way to Ireland
was custom designed by me and hand built, and the teak stand for the drum
took 1 1/2 days to build. My
personal responsibility included preparing David Oldfield's mythological
guided imagery I've been using, The Journey, trying to get more
fluid with it and making contingency plans for delivery systems.
Also, I wanted a diverse bag of tricks in case we had holes in
the schedule, so I collected and practiced games and energizers for the
children. But
the key components for the deepest success within the Youth Conference
would come from Jyoti (Jeneane Prevatt).
She's the one with the vision and scope of what the children are
capable of. Her gift is to
play Pied Piper and lead the kids into their imaginations and dreams.
Her goal for the week was to initiate and create dreams and visions
for the children, then help look for the common threads and recurring
archetypal themes within them. The
approach would be to have the children lead a very experiential life throughout
the week, to maximize their senses and imaginations, and then to see how
that input would be processed through their dreams and visions. A
bold undertaking, I think, trusting on the limitless imaginations of children
to present itself in some way that we adults could benefit from and understand.
The children, broken down into three age groups, were to experience
are great variety of events. The
Acorns were 2-5-year-olds,
which Cathy handled. The Sprouts ranged from 6-9, and Patty was in charge
of them. Patty has no direct experience with this type of work, but as
an artist with great creativity and a huge Spirit, she's a natural.
I inherited the Willows, aged from 10-16, based on my experience
with adolescents. Some
events and field trips involved all three groups, but more often than
not they were separated, with the Sprouts and Windows being together most
often. Some of my reservations
regarding the adolescents manifested as I watched
five 11-12-year-olds bond together.
They happened to be all boys and all Americans.
The two oldest Willows were a 14 and 16-year-old girl, both pretty
and well developed enough to totally disrupt the boys, who acted out and
showed off to the point of looking foolish.
A few younger 10-year-olds were more suited developmentally for
the Sprouts (6-9), for they were pre-adolescent and more controllable. This was my first experience
working with children from other cultures. All were Caucasian; many were from Ireland, the United Kingdom,
or Europe, with one 12-year-old girl from Russia who spoke no English.
It was fascinating for me to watch the "typical" American
adolescents alongside their counterparts.
Over all, I would say the American boys were much more unruly,
loud, self centered, attention seeking, and immature.
As pre-adults, I could see what the absence of a collective American
culture was like when the boys would be asked to sing, do relaxation,
or dance. These are not readily
apparent or accepted in our Western adult society.
The European children all seemed much more at ease with these components,
were much more respectful to the teachers and speakers offered to them,
and were more willing to share their experiences. I
was constantly having to discipline the American boys; not severely but
certainly constantly. Often,
I had to separate them or sit between them to keep them from talking or
horse playing. They seemed
indifferent or unaware of how rude they were to those around them, including
the adult presenters and entertainers.
Their attention span was shorter.
I could sense how our society creates a need for instant gratification
and results. Events or processes
seem to have to have an ending, or closure.
They were not left comfortable with stories or processes that were
open-ended, as if everything was a TV show that had to have a conclusion. They
were much less imaginative, or willing to access their imaginations.
They frequently would lapse into that space known to American youth
as being overly concerned with "being cool."
I found this particularly fascinating this time, not because I
didn't already understand it from my work at home, but more in the understanding
of how much of the world to this type of kid is "not cool." Almost
anything they were asked to do was considered uncool, as if the mere fact
of having been asked or told to do something was something they were supposed
to be resistant to. This flows with our American understanding of how adolescents
test adults and parents, but it finally struck me that this is not a universal
aspect of this age group, or at least not the severity with which we are
used to with American teens. They
seemed so much more conscious of how they appeared than the European children,
or those American children who had experienced other cultures prior to
Ireland. As
mentioned a little earlier, it was clear to me the American boys had less
social skills then their European counterparts.
Besides been verbally interruptive, they were more prone to disruptive
behavior such as burping or farting publicly.
So much of this behavior seemed directed at gaining attention,
causing me to wonder if our overall parenting skills are inferior.
A culture with a 50 percent divorce rate must manifest that somehow.... Along
the same lines, these boys were less appropriate and less aware of how
circumstances and boundaries changed from situation to situation.
Being very self-centered, they often remained unaware of those
around them and how the chemistry might have recently changed.
For example, during a bus ride to the beach, the boys' language
and content kept deteriorating to an intolerable point of embarrassment.
It was apparent they did not notice or care if older women or younger
girls were within earshot. Repeated attempts to get them to keep their content more at
a "PG" level then an "R" level fell on deaf ears,
so often they would have to be closed down altogether.
The fact they were in Ireland seemed no more important to them
than a bus ride to the water park. Often
being the only man around, or at least the most active one, I sensed a
lot of the behavior was in trying to impress me.
When alone, they would shift the conversation to drugs, or sex,
for example, and try to impress me with how much they knew.
I originally thought this was all they were trying to do, then
suddenly it dawned on me it was a kind of safe way for them to get the
real information from me. They'd
start the subject, get the accurate information from me, laughing discount
it by creating chaos, then come away with knowledge they wanted and needed
but were too "cool" to actually ask for. Another good example
of this lack of social abilities came near the end of the week.
One of the boys had daringly volunteered to dance with four girls
at the final assembly. He
was instantly and vehemently kidded by the other boys, but I was very
proud and tried to let him know this in private among just the boys. I
told him I felt he had "big balls" to do what he was doing,
and that I respected him for it. Throughout
the next day, the other boys kept bringing up that quote of "big
balls." This in itself
was not a problem so much as when they did it.
They could not seem to understand or control the topic, especially
when women or girls were around.
Being able to distinguish when is appropriate vs. when is inappropriate
appears to be a skill they have not developed. In simpler terms, their
manners were terrible and much worse than many of the younger children
and/or those from other countries.
Similarly, during times when we try to discipline them , the American
boys were much more prone to arguing.
They do it without even thinking, I believe, as it is such a force
of habit from home. They
seem to interpret a request or command with the word 'no' has meaning
'maybe,' and 'why' and 'why not' were readily available also. This
is not meant to be a dissertation on the negativities of American boys.
But the differences were obvious and worth noting.
It was also apparent to me how much of our clinical training and
education, how much of what we in American counseling and therapy
have learned about human nature is really only applicable to those of
the American culture. I understand
how broad a generalization this seems, and must certainly include some
other Western cultures. But
essentially most of the work I've experienced and been trained for applies
specifically to American kids. What
I saw for the first time is that the behavior we normally ascribe to teens
in general, often does not include teens from other cultures.
The negativity we associate with this time period is really the
exception to the rule rather than the norm. This
becomes most interesting to me when I apply a more global, cross-cultural
approach. A lot of the clinical
developments based on our society would not be appropriate or accurate
within many other cultures who simply do not have those problems, such
as with adolescents. For
example, what happens to the typical dysfunctional family roles in a society
with little divorce and/or parental addiction?
Most of our understanding of the adolescent process is based on
teens in our culture. This
long, drawn out (about six
years (12-18) seems to be the longest around.
This process of individualization to separation to autonomy is
so much shorter in other cultures.
The Australian Aborigines choose their name based on what skill
they bring to the tribe (Story Teller, Food Finder, Soft Healer, etc.).
This past week has made me wonder, if I was to end up in many other
cultures, would any of my adolescent skills matter and what would I be
called. I
believe the major flow and scope of the week was to come from Jyoti's
side of things. The goal
throughout the entire week was to start and excite the children's imagination,
and to help them recall and process their dreams.
We would look for the common threads with recurring themes within
them, try to determine their meaning, and then present that information
to the final assembly of 1500 people. To
accomplish this, each morning began with an hour of dream work, led by
Jyoti. The children would
lie in the center of the local labyrinth after walking it, with their
heads together forming something like a star.
She would induct them into relaxation, do some soft chanting, and
encourage them to "go back out there" and find their dreams
and visions to share. My
role quickly evolved into following Jyoti's pace and rhythm with my drum,
changing speeds and volume as necessary to create a more dynamic and dramatic
atmosphere. Even while the
children would share their dreams I would keep the drum beating, relentlessly
circling the group. After
a few minutes of relaxing and speaking, Jyoti would then have the children
sit up in a circle facing each other. Then she would go around the circle,
encouraging and eliciting as many dreams is possible.
Another adult would transcribe the dreams throughout the entire
week, giving us quite an accumulation by the week's end.
Often, other people would stop by to observe the children's dream
process, and we would offer them a chance to drum or rattle with us.
One day the BBC came to film the dream circle, which certainly
brought some fresh energy to the room. That
same day, Thursday, Mo Maxfield and her I Ching drummers were to come
play for the children. While
we were still doing our component, I encouraged Mo and her group to participate
with us. The four women quickly circled and moved to the four direction
points in the labyrinth. Between
them, Patty joined in with the 2-foot drum the children had previously
made. We had seven drums
encouraging the children to break free of this reality and to pursue their
dreams; it was quite powerful and dramatic. We
did a lot of other drumming throughout the week, but I feel this was the
most powerful drumming session. It was during these special hours I felt Jyoti and I did our
best work. If I just allowed
the music to come, soon she and I would attain a type of synchronicity.
She and the drumbeat would melt together into their own rhythm
and flow, and each time would be different.
I felt there was no way the children could not be deeply and positively
affected by this process. Another
major aspect of drumming that I became more and more convinced of was
that drumming pursues and works the psyche.
I can feel it, mostly within myself and this past week with
the children, relentlessly driving a wedge through the walls and
boundaries of the psyche.
For me, I sense that's the benefit of the two prior 24-hour drum
marathons I played in that created a crack in the wall, or a chink in
my own armor. Even at the
most quiet times, when little four-year-old girls were whispering their
dreams and visions, the drumbeat kept pushing them along, driving them
out of this reality and consciousness, and into that space where dreams
live. One
of my major goals for this trip was to get to experiment with and experience
more of the Transpersonal approaches with children.
I began to look at drumming with children other than just a way
to entertain or pacify them. I'm
reminded of an African quote that states: "I don't drum because I'm
happy, I'm happy because I drum."
I'm much more anxious now to not only drum for the children, but
to drum with them and teach them how. Jyoti
and I have just concluded a conversation that shed some light a lot of
the "big balls" dilemma I had with the boys.
In retrospect part of my intent had been to feed the masculine
part of the boy. I guess
I sensed the need (or desire) to go beyond just telling him I was proud
and admired him, and I attempted to touch his masculine needs.
My comment, although sent with good intentions, was somewhat inappropriate
because it's still feeds that thinking that manhood is related to the
genitals, that big balls are more desirable and proof of one's bravery
or masculinity. Actually
I should have told him I felt he was brave, or courageous, and not indicated
how that is improperly attached to sex organs. Jyoti's
point was valid also in that statements such as mine continue to feed
the male image that bravery and control are related to sex or at least
the male genitalia. I can
see how this perpetuates boys' and men's preoccupations with genitals
size and prowess as our criteria for manhood.
It also keeps that criteria for manhood in the sexual arena, which
is then most often acted out upon the females of our society.
My intent had been to do what I was told as a boy, to speak boy
things in private and keep respectfully quiet when women entered the scene.
I did not understand that by doing so, by having boys talk dirty
and inappropriate while isolated, still contributes to their separation
views of women. They grow up talking about women behind their backs, often
sexually and inappropriately, and at best learn to keep it to themselves.
But I can also see how that keeps boys and men looking at women
as objects, that sexual thoughts are to be shared among the men and hidden
from women. So my search
for what men and boys truly need vs. what's harmful and inappropriate
continues. It
became apparent early in the week that I would not have many kids that
were mature enough for the component I was to present: the mythological
guided imagery. I did get
to do it with the two eldest girls with wonderful results, but the five
12-year-old boys just could not relax into the process enough.
Except for the two older girls, I was kind of surprised that the
best age group for guided imagery and the dream work was in the 7-10 range.
I've not worked much with this age group at all and was pleased
with how responsive they were. The
middle kids seem pretty balanced in that they can control themselves and
responds to the adults really well.
They can follow instructions and do not resist discipline.
But they also easily willing to let go of this reality and pursue
the fantasy work. They do
not question so much, and share very well with honesty and feelings.
Children from about five or six-years-old down were good at using
their imaginations but were much more fidgety and had shorter attention
spans. They tended to go
off on more verbal tangents and
unrelated stories and topics, and also have difficulty sometimes
explaining themselves or putting their thoughts and feelings into words. Those
in early adolescence are often in that age of non-belief, where things
are very black and white or concrete.
Much of their imagination has been turned off.
I attribute this to a number of things.
First, many imaginative beliefs from early in life were found out
to be false, such as Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy.
I feel this sets a precedent with them in that magic and imagination
are construed as only for younger children.
I also think the early adolescents resent this as having been misled
and also just being plain disappointed.
The lack of current American myths gives them no view of grownup magic.
I sense this goes into our shadow "bag" wherein if they
can't have it, nobody can. Similarly,
they learn that adults, at least in our society, do not spend much time
with their imaginations. Since
most adolescents are just trying to become adults, they learn one of the
ways to do that is to "get real."
It's at this age that adults start telling (shadow)
children to "grow up," to quit the believing in fairy
tales, and to "act their age." I believe this is one of the
greatest disappointments and results of our Western evolution.
And finally, our Western society has contributed to this with all
of the technological wizardry related to children.
They're getting more and more caught up in the instant gratification
problem. Plug something in
and just push the buttons. All
of the toys that run on batteries to make them do something are considered
broken or unusable when they stop 'working.'
It's like imagination for them actually lives in the batteries,
and when those run dry, so does the imagination.
Our
cultural shift away from imaginative expressions such as dancing and singing
are also related to this. The European children were much more comfortable with group
singing, chanting, and dancing.
There is so little of that done in our culture, at least with the
adolescents, that it becomes uncool to do.
After arriving at the Shannon, Ireland airport, many of us boarded
a bus for a 2-1/2 hour trip to Killarney.
A 10-year-old American boy, whom later I would learn was to participate
in the Youth Conference, spent the entire bus trip through the Irish countryside
playing his Nintendo Game Boy. I
had a hard time believing that his 10-year-old Irish counterpart, on his
first trip to the United States, would be so removed and disinterested
in the process. The
Youth Conference itself was a great success and a lot of fun.
The goal was to transcend the usual childcare thinking and have
the Youth Conference viewed as something much larger.
The feedback from most parents was highly rewarding and encouraging.
For example one of Jyoti's favorite stories includes a mother who
noticed her daughter's vocabulary had recently picked up the words "sacred"
and "spirit." We
had hoped to incorporate more of the experiential work within the field
trips, but logistically that never happened.
For example, we had wanted to do an hour of dream work with drumming
on the top floor of a local castle, but that simply could not be arranged.
We also went to the local underground cave attraction, and had
hoped to do some storytelling or mythological guided imagery while under
the influence of that underground location, but the tours were too frequent.
Our trip to the beach was a treat, but it was loud and windy, and
the children were too excited to calm down for quiet exercises. Michael
Dames led an interesting exercise out on the beach.
Everyone held hands in a circle, then he pulled certain people
in and molded certain people
outward to create a giant made out of about 30 people.
Then we all went to the shoreline, and built some
babies out of sand or rocks.
As the rising tide would slowly erase the baby, we next were invited
to build more child size figures.
Again the tide would soon rise to erase that figure.
Finally, we were instructed to great huge giants, as large as we
could make, out of sand, sticks, rocks, etc.
A few of them measured 20-30 feet long on the beach.
We laughed, knowing each giant figure would soon be returned to
its natural form, marveling in the symbolism of the exercise. Many
of the conference presenters had volunteered to spend time with the children.
Angie Arrien came with the I Ching drummers in tow.
She helped our children weave their own story, using their bodies
as characters and props such as mountains and lakes. The drummers acted out the wind and thunder, and it was a very
powerful experience. Rupert
Sheldrake was the only presenter to stop the five boys in their tracks
with his theories on homing pigeon instincts and how dogs find their way
home after being stranded. His
kind of abstract and eccentric ways were enchanting.
He also tried to show the boys how to communicate with trees, which
they did not do well, as it became a contest and game of silliness and
competition. But he was very
good and patient with them, and we're talking with him regarding future
projects. We
had some storytellers, musicians and magicians come.
Jill Purse did some singing and chanting with the children (and
us!). Nityaprema led the
first encounter with the labyrinth.
Claus Biegert led a fascinating workshop on the Future, working
the kids very well. He also
helped us create a treaty/petition of ideas and demands from the children
of the world for the adults, that was officially delivered and presented
to ITA and ITA President Ralph Metzner at the final assembly, along with
the drum the children had built. Patricia
and Jeff Winters in an interesting session on seasons and on the equinoxes
and solstices. John Mack
from Harvard thrilled the kids with his reports of UFO's and aliens.
A few presenters came with great intentions, but did not understand
children very well, so sometimes their workshops were not as powerful
or well received. It was disappointing for me not to get to any of the adult
presentations, though. I
think it is interesting how little work in this field, as well as others,
has been brought to our children. My naiveté follows me around, sometimes, wondering how such
basic concepts get overlooked for so long.
Imagination, singing, music and stories are such a large component
of the Transpersonal movement, and yet it seems our greatest experts in
these areas are adults with Ph.D.'s, and so few people are using these
approaches with youth. It
certainly seems that according to the above criteria, children should
be our resident experts and teachers.
The process we adults have to go through to free ourselves of our
stuffiness and rigidity is enormous, when so long ago we already had all
the gifts we need. I'm reminded of a quote by Picasso I read many years ago.
Essentially, it said something like "when I was young, I painted
like a master. It took me many, many years to learn to paint like a child." The
responses by the parents and ITA attendees continually reflected this,
although I sense it will be quite some time, if ever, if the Youth Conference
is considered as important as the adults one.
This leads into a very delicate area, and one which is hard to
quantify other than by my perception and feedback from others.
My sense is that even people in the Transpersonal field, as open
and broad as they appear to be, are still caught up in a host of prejudices
and close-mindedness. Many
of the adults, after years in years of education and training, find themselves
becoming the experts on things that come naturally to six-year-olds. And
of course, among themselves, even the most open and evolved adults still
carry their shadow and unresolved patterns and issues.
We had presenters who refused to come and/or participate because
they were not first in billing, or had bad time slots.
We in the Youth Conference were subtly reminded that the adults
were really the most important part, and often we found ourselves being
rescheduled or moved from rooms or facilities that had been promised to
us. I
sense the Youth Conference will one day be so acknowledged and respected
as other workshops attended and presented by just the adults.
On a perfect day, an international youth conference without adults
would be spectacular. We keep hearing and telling ourselves that our children are
our future, but until we put our money and our resources and our energy
were our mouths are, that will remain only a good saying. It reminds me of how far we human beings still have to go,
even those of us in trippy and expanded fields. It
is at this point I see so much resistance to Jyoti's vision to use the
children's dreams for helping the adults of the world get rebalanced.
It's as if the Transpersonal field will spend a great deal of energy and
time becoming more playful and childlike in an attempt to help adults
live better lives. If this
is so, then the children are the perfect avenue.
Many adults respond rather condescendingly when you tell them you're
trying to collect children's visions and wisdom with the intent of using
it in the adult world. I
sense a great many adults don't mind children being children, but that
they should stay in their world and leave the grown-up stuff to the adults. And
certainly a great many adults, mostly parents, felt this concept had been
too long in coming and supported us wholeheartedly.
A great many people commented how much more life there seemed to
be at the conference with the children around.
Christina Grof mentioned that hearing the children's laughter throughout
the week reminded her that something had been missing from all the previous
conferences. It certainly
felt more family like, more of a get-together than those I've attended
with only adults. The
final ceremony was one of the most incredible experiences of my life.
Weaving together all the dreams, visions and experiences of the
week, the children designed their closing session.
Miraculously, the Youth Conference had been allowed to have the
final 15-20 minutes at the closing plenary session. The
children created all the art, reflecting the visions and imagery they
had seen throughout the week. With
the aid of a local Irish girl with amazing artistic talent, the
kids created their own backdrop and artwork.
Our eldest 16-year-old girl taught four younger girls and the one
boy to perform an Israeli line dance.
I taught four young children a few basic drum rhythms to accompany
the dancers. To
open our session, all 40-50 kids were brought up to the front of the conference
area, a spectacular tent capable of seating 1500 people.
The children came up with the following sequence:
I began to address the assembled adults as an grownup would, telling
them how the Youth Conference had gone.
Then, one of the 10-year-old boys came up to the microphone and
rudely pushed me aside. He
claimed that he was actually one of the "youth," and he could
give a better picture of how it had all gone. With
a setup question, I then asked the 1500 adults if the children really
did have anything to offer us grownups.
A roar came back from the crowd, demanding to hear from the kids.
I slunk off and he began to read the list of demands and wishes
from the children's list, which had been converted to a parchment scroll.
The scroll and the drum were donated to ITA. After
the speech, drumming and dancing, the littlest children were led off stage
by Jyoti. The children grabbed
the hands of the nearest adults in the audience, and led them, one row
at a time out of the tent. I followed at the end of the procession with the 2-foot drum,
banging it for all I was worth.
As I mentioned earlier on, suddenly the skies became blue for the
first time. We wove ourselves
into a Celtic spiral, 1500 people long, which begins to unravel in the
opposite direction after reaching the middle, creating an amazing kaleidoscopic
affect. Local penny-whistle bands joined in, and we all partied throughout
the rest of the afternoon. This
experience has helped confirm the path I'm on, trying to use and find
more Transpersonal, creative, intuitive approaches to working with children,
particularly high-risk boys. To get there, I will continue to track how adolescence has been
in other times and in other places,
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For more information, contact Bret. All material Copyright
by Bret Stephenson 1997-2012 Last Updated Feb. 19, 2012
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